Clive’s Anima

Neutrally dressed in a cream jacket, trousers and glasses perched on the end of his nose, Clive peered down at the tarot cards on the table, I hesitated for a moment, then after some consideration said, ‘its time for you to present your feminine side, it is important to your freedom.’

He took this information in and rather urgently asks me what he should do next. We left the table and wandered outside, in a hushed voice I was told of his separation from his partner, who was inside. I was told that his partner is totally accepting to him but she wants a man that is all man. Clive described himself as 50% woman, 50% man. I said, ‘trust the process’, I know that through truth and love there is always a way through these seemingly complex matters. Clive is a Shamanic Healer, he offered to show me his working practice, commenting at the time that my heart was locked in a tower and that it was very hard for anyone to reach me.

Over the next few weeks, we sifted through his past life stories, his shamanic journeys and the evidence of his ‘cross dressing’ in his present life situation. Clive was a soldier up until 2004, he had post traumatic stress disorder from his time in Northern Ireland. His holistic healing journey began in the army in 1998 when he first did Reiki 1.

As a child he always had a very feminine look, in fact when he was eight a teacher told his mother that he ‘was far too pretty to be a boy’. He says he can’t remember if he put his mothers clothes on and doesn’t feel it necessary to know for sure, ‘maybe I did, maybe I didn’t’.

As we regressed through Clive’s male past lives, a concurrent theme came up, he was a soldier from a very young age, through many of his era’s, often with a remarkable androgyny, but often abandoned, vulnerable and/or killed before reaching an age in which he could be secure.

Regressing as a female he was able to develop his sensitive and highly intuitive side through healing and communication within tribes and communities. Even as a woman he had a soldier side to him but his role was more to do with strategy and the development of intuition and visions, to advise the tribes or communities of impeding tragedy. We touched on a past life in which he learnt many herbal remedies, picking mushroom, bark, roots and foliage from the woods and fields; he revealed himself to be far wiser than many of his peers.

Clive feels much happier carrying out the shamanic part of his work dressed in a feminine way. When we questioned his soul contract as to if he should be female or male the answer came back, 50% female, 50% male, it is worth noting that this make up of ‘anima’ changes from person to person.

Whilst Clive’s journeying through shamanic means initiated his release from his inhibitions, our work together has bought Clive to a position in which he can fully express as Clare. As a Creative Development Therapist, I felt my role was in grounding his understanding of who Clive was and now providing a support for Clare’s expression of her new identity.

So the day came for us to sort though the now ‘Clare’s’ wardrobe, create a vision board of ‘Clare’s’ style, document ‘Clive’s’ development and give a helping hand to the development of ‘Clare’s’ look. I invited Mina Matania from MindSpace (Life and Style Advisor) to add a spark to the shopping trip and to give some colour and style tips. We set out into the heart of the High Street shops. Mina and I felt it would be very important for Clare to be given advice on applying the right foundation and eye colour, so we started the day with a make over. The Mxc counter at House of XXXXX was accommodating to Clare and very sensitive to her needs, they applied natural colours, that seemed to light up Clare’s face and to the onlooker, give her a sense of ownership to her feminine body.

Clare felt that it was important that she could pass off as a female who presents with a sophisticated understanding of cut, line, colour and a twist of magic to do with her shamanism, reiki and military background.

Mina was quick to spot a purple, crocheted long dress from Lxxxx at House of xxxxx that was very cleanly cut and versatile, the colour connected well with the energy of Reiki; in fact purples, burgundies and greens set off Clare’s colouring.  The shamanic part of Clare’s identity was expressed through well-cut animal prints, natural fabrics, suede boots and loose knits. Clare already had a feminine military style jacket in her wardrobe, so with this year’s expanse of military type jackets and suits she found that she could build on an already understood part of her androgyny.

Mina’s ‘big love’ of fashion and style supported Clare’s development in a way that gave Clare a foundation to form a wardrobe with sophisticated colour and style, she was advised about the necessities of vest tops, underwear options and ways of using the cut of clothing to bring out her asset’s.

The day was designed to give Clare a confidence in developing her sense of identity and self-expression through fashion in a way that brought her a feeling of femininity, autonomy, naturalness and presence. Talking to Clare the next day she described the experience as, ‘not just about buying clothes’, she felt ready to present herself to the world. Clare is now researching relocation...

Clare/Clive – Shamanic Healer, Reiki Master Tel: 07739 277708

Mina Matania – Mindspace, Life and Style Advisor

19 Upper Berkley Street Street, London W1H 7PS1

Tel: 020 8177 8245 minamatania@bulldoghome.com

Amanda McGregor – Creative Development Therapist

(Personal and Creative Development)

Natureworks, 16 Balderton Street. W1 - 020 7629 2927 / 07939 512 837

(opposite Selfridges Clock, Oxford St.)  - a@amandamcgregor.com

Also at Reading, Henley or Marlow.

(There is a documentary video about the day.)

This project was completed in the spring of 2007, the photos below were taken a year or so after after Clare had settled in to her new identity, she is with her friend Julie-anne.